Despite different cultures, beliefs, religions we all have something in common, we just want to be happy.
The only variation is that Happiness can have a different meaning for any of us and can easily be associated with some wrong ones and that’s why there are so many unhappy people in this world.
In this post, I am going to talk about what Happiness is Not.
I believe the word Happiness is overused daily and very often misinterpreted.
During our day, we use the word “happy” quite a lot when I believe we could just use some other words like “pleased”, “glad”, “joyful”, “delighted” and so on.
Yes, if we look into the dictionary, we might find that they are all synonyms of happiness.
I personally believe that most of the time, these synonyms of happiness can probably all be related to pleasure.
Pleasure is one of the feelings that can be easily confused with happiness. Happiness and pleasure can both make us feel good, but pleasure is something that doesn’t last for long, it is temporary, while happiness, I mean, the true happiness can last. Here is my post on True Happiness
Here is a short Video “What We’ve Got Wrong About Happiness” by Jay Shetty
Now, I am going to talk about the three main points that normally, Happiness can be wrongly associated with
#1 Happiness is Not a Destination
It is very likely that a lot of people associate Happiness with a final destination.
What do I mean by that?
Let’s do some examples. Here are few common phrases used that describe Happiness with a final destination.
“Once I will have finished my studies, I will be happy.”
“Once I get rid of my debts, I will be happy.”
“Once I find a partner, I will be happy”
And I could go on with a lot more examples.
Unfortunately, this is not true happiness.
If we are waiting to be happy until we haven’t achieved what we want, it is not really good, is it?
We have made mentally that decision and it might take months or years before we can be happy and in the meantime, we resign just to survive.
Eventually once we have achieved what we wanted, how much time will we spend to be happy? Probably not a lot, we are not used to be happy and furthermore it is in the human nature to always want more and achieve something else.
It is perfectly normal to have goals to achieve and we need goals in our life.
What is not good is that, until we don’t get what we want, we will not be happy and that means we are going to spend most of our life waiting to be happy and our pursue to happiness will never end.
My conclusions: if we consider happiness a destination, we will not be able to be happy simply because we need a reason to be happy.
So what can we do? Here are my suggestions:
Start being Happy now and remember,
- Happiness is a Choice and
- can only be felt in the present moment.
- Appreciate what you have, be Grateful and work on what you want.
# 2 True Happiness can Not be found in material things.
It is very common in these days a lot of people in their search for happiness, search for it in material things.
Many of them assume that things such as a good job, more money will give them the happiness that they are searching for.
One of the reasons probably for that is because the media to sell more of their products bombard us daily with misleading advertisements that are made to make us believe that if we buy their products we will feel happier. Basically, they create a desire in us.
This is quite bad because if for whatever reason we can not buy that item, is very common that we feel unhappy, inadequate and eventually ending up to do everything we can to get it.
We need to realize that Happiness coming from material things is just illusory, temporary, and is not really happiness but it is pleasure, joy.
Why? Let’s say we want the latest iPhone. Until we have it we might feel unhappy, but after a while we have the new iPhone, we can easily lose that “state of fake happiness”, and then when another new model comes out, the cycle starts again.
This vicious circle can easily happen for every material thing so we end up all the time chasing a “fake happiness”.
What can we do? Here are my suggestions:
Would you like more money, a nice or a better job, a new house or whatever you want, start with being happy first and I will assure you, that you will get what you want and success will come!
You might like to read: What is the secret to Success? Be happy first
# 3 True Happiness is Not what comes from the outside
What do I mean by that?
When we rely on other people or events to be happy we are in trouble.
Why?
Simple because if we look for happiness in another person and if this person decides, for whatever reason, that doesn’t want to be part of our life anymore, we end up having our happiness being taken away.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly fine to be with people that make us happy, who would want to be with a miserable unhappy person? What it’s wrong is to make our happiness depending on other people.
What it’s wrong is to make our happiness depending on other people.
What can we do? Here are my suggestions:
Be in charge of yourself and your life, and you will be in charge of your happiness.
You might like to read:
I would like to end this post underlying that Happiness is Not about having all we want or having a life without problems.
Happiness is a way of life, if we want to live a happy life we need to appreciate what we have and make the most of it, have a positive mindset and learn how to deal with problems, take daily actions and work on what you want.