Have you ever worried about what others might think of you?
Have you ever felt rejected and had to defend yourself from being criticized by others?
Have you ever refused to do things that could benefit you or society because of the fear of repercussions from others?
If so, you can consider yourself a normal person.
Psychologically, expulsion from the “tribe” is a direct threat to the existence of such an outcast. This raises the question: “If the desire for social acceptance is natural and normal, does it always benefit the individual?”
Imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t care about someone else’s opinion.
Would you become self-centered, or would you start living your life in such a way as to fulfill your destiny without fear of being rejected?
Why does addiction to other people’s opinions make us miserable?
If the desire for recognition is a natural desire, how can it be a problem?
The fact is that, as with any other drug, the pleasure of getting someone else’s recognition is not infinite. And if this is the only way to make a person feel happy, they will be unhappy until they get another “dose”.
This means that the usual desire to get approval is quite normal.
This is very noticeable in the example of a dysfunctional relationship. All the manipulator needs to do is to intimidate his partner so that he feels rejected or selfish and remains under his influence.
Dependency on recognition leads to blurred borders and dissatisfaction. Dependence on others’ opinions is the right way to deprive the world of your talent.
How selfish will it be to hide from others what you can share with them just because you are too focused on a few people’s opinions?
As weird as it may sound, doing something for others can be selfish too.
In airplanes, we are told that first, we need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves, and then on the child. The fact is that if an adult loses consciousness first, the children will have no one to help them. The same can be said about the fact that dependence on someone else’s opinion makes a person suffer so much that eventually, everyone around him begins to suffer.
For example, if someone spends so much time helping other people that they eventually start to neglect their health, then in case of illness they will put an unnecessary burden on the shoulders of those who will take care of them.
How to overcome addiction to other people’s opinions?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel connected to others.
The problem arises if it’s not balanced with other important things like maintaining one’s own boundaries.
Individuals who are dependent on the opinion of others often lack self-confidence.
Each of us has our own inner critic who whispers: “You are not good enough. You are nothing compared to those around you. If you are confident in yourself, you will become selfish.” You cannot get rid of that voice. We can choose whether we believe it or not.
It’s often impossible to answer it without answering the following questions: “Can I approve my actions now? What do I appreciate most about myself?”
Don’t forget to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
After all, worries about what other people might think are hiding behind a mask of love. But in fact, if you really love someone, you are ready even for the lack of recognition from a loved one.
Imagine parents with their children. If they are too concerned about their child’s opinion, they may not limit him or her in any way, afraid that he or she will stop loving them. Have you seen parents who allow their children to have absolutely everything because they don’t want to seem bad? Is it possible to call it true love?
In an attempt to overcome your dependence on others’ opinions, you have to ask yourself one of the most difficult questions in the world: am I ready to love a person so much as to make them hate me? If you really care about someone, telling them that they’re ruining their lives and making them feel the pain of it can be the most sincere act of love you can ever do.
There is a very high probability that your decision, to tell the truth, will cause you to be rejected because of it. But if you love someone, isn’t it better for him or her to go through a little suffering to prevent a disaster in the future?
On the other hand, many people will eventually start to appreciate you much more for your honesty and love that exceed the desire to be accepted.
Author Bio: Roy is a literary enthusiast, a loving father of twins, a programmer in a custom software company, editor in chief of Refrigeratorfaq.com, a greedy reader, and a gardener.